the mistake that i did was to forgive you when my family told me to coz i know your NOT WORTH MY FORGIVENESS !

HAPPY NEW YEAR ^^ Hi , I am bored like hell here . I am alone at home as in elder brothers not home yet so I've got my hands landed on this netbook :) I HAVENT started on my CNY homework yet ;( I wanna practice practice practice on french horn more than doing science homework :) Coz I AM FALLING IN LOVE WITH FRENCH HORN AGAIN :D Good . Here's the thing , I WILL FORGIVE YOU BUT sad to say I CANT SEEM TO FORGET . You don't know how the two of us felt at that point of time . You could have just confessed to us AND return OUR stuffs to us BUT NO , you didnt . Instead , you pretend to 'help' us . AND YES , I DO KNOW THAT YOU WERE THE ONE WHO TOOK IT . WE WERE BEING KIND ENOUGH TO NOT ASK YOU PEOPLE TO COMPENSATE US . ONLY THE TWO OF US KNOW HOW HEARTBREAKING IT IS AT THAT MOMENT . AND YES , THAT IS NOT MINE BUT MY ELDER BROTHER'S . DO YOU EVEN KNOW THAT I CRIED FOR DAYS FEELING GUILTY THAT I ACTUALLY LOST MY ELDER BROTHER'S STUFF ?! NOPE YOU DON'T COZ YOU NEVER EXPERIENCED IT BEFORE AS YOUR THE OLDEST . DONT YOU EVEN THINK THAT IF YOUR YOUNGER SIBLINGS KNOW ABOUT YOUR ACT THEY MAY FEEL UPSET ? YOU ARE  THE ELDEST AND YOUR SETTING BAD EXAMPLE ? WHAT IS THIS ? I ADMIT I DONT KNOW HOW DIFFICULT IT IS TO BE AN ELDER SIBLING COZ IM THE YOUNGEST . BUT STILL THE LEAST YOU COULD DO IS CHANGE THAT ATTITUDE OF YOURS ! Dont ask me what or how your attitude of yours is wrong coz I DONT GIVE A DAMN . All i know is that , I can forgive you but WONT FORGET . You said you wanted to get revenge at her right ? What about me ? I dont think I was on bad terms with you back then . What did i do to deserve it ? fine , your issues with her , I wont interfere . BUT , mine , what did i do to actually make you to just steal my handphone ? Its heartbreaking like what she said . I treated you like a friend and you stole it . Do you how i felt ? in fact how we felt ? WE ARE NOT BROODING ABOUT the past . it seems that you dont get it . It was my elder brother's handphone . in fact it was his NEW handphone and he lent it to me . That phone is like BLOODY DAMN precious to him . It was a gift to him and he lent it to me . I lost it just like that . WHY ? Coz someone i treated him as a friend stole it from me . True , it's in the past but then , do you know the hardships we had to face after you and your 'partner' stole it ? no you did not . my elder brother was angry and WAY TOO UPSET . I KNOW THAT . its just that he told me "adik , its okay . nevermind about it okay ? its just a phone . my adik is more important than that phone. im not mad . just dont lose it again . " When he told me that , I was holding back my tears . He used that phone less than a month and its gone by seconds . You wont know the guilt i felt for bringing his phone to school . YOU WILL NEVER KNOW THE GUILT I FELT . SO STOP SAYING THAT YOU KNOW HOW WE FELT AND EVEN IF YOU SAID SORRY MANYMANY TIMES AND APOLOGIZED , I CAN FORGIVE YOU BUT STILL I FORGIVE YOU COZ OF MY PARENTS AND ELDER BROTHERS . THEY TOLD ME KARMA WILL HAPPEN . SOMETIMES , I JUST DONT WANT TO FORGIVE YOU BUT STILL WHATEVER YOU DID TO US , YOU'LL GET IT ONE DAY COZ I BELIEVE WHAT GOES AROUND COMES AROUND ^^ LEAVE US ALONE NOW . I CAN SEE THAT YOU HAVE NOT CHANGED AND FEEL GUILTY BUT STILL I DONT GIVE A DAMN .